When you live in an Italian family, one must out of necessity engage in some type of physical activity, exercise to counteract the prodigious caloric intake. ..... Last week I joined a health club. It was an experience I'll never forget. ....................................................................................................

My first day, I walk in and this neckless 5 foot 2 guy walks up to me

and the following conversation ensued :

necklessmuscleguy : "Hey, what are you workin' on?"

me : "My low self-esteem . I'm hoping that big muscles will compensate for my weak mind and poor self image. My goal is to develop the same body dysmorphic disorder as you clearly have. ......................................... What are you workin' on ?"

necklessmuscleguy :" Wha..??"

(We walked over to the bench)

necklessmuscleguy : " Can you spot me ?"

me : " Sure, how can I miss a roided up acne stricken sweat ball like you?!"

necklessmuscleguy :" Wha..??"

( 10 minutes later )

necklessmuscleguy : " Hey, what does dysmorphic mean ?"

me :" Dere's more fake jewelry in the malls than one would realize."

necklessmuscleguy : " Oh ...... so how did you get those huge calves?"

me : " Easy ! ..... Running away from men who stare at my legs !!"