The Homeless Phenom

I was looking at TV yesterday and an amazing story unfolded. ........It was about a homeless man with a phenomenal set of speaking pipes. At first I refused to accept it, especially after looking at the man in question.


He looked to me like an overly tanned Don Imus,.......like a werewolf in mid transformation.


But then the man, Ted Williams, opened his pie hole and sounded like James Earl Jones with a side of Barack Obama ......a combo of Tony the Tiger and the 'LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE' guy....Needless to say a voice of a god...small 'g'.

I turned to my wife and said," Boy I sure hope the poor homeless schmuck gets a job with that voice."...
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----------------------------------ONE DAY LATER-----------------------------------
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The very next day I find out that Ted Williams received job offers from numerous Fortune 500 companies, sports franchises, on and on and on......to the point that he was even offered a home to live in....That's correct.The man went from homeless to home less a mortgage. Ted Williams in one day passed me by on the successo meter.

Now if you're thinking that I'm slightly jealous, you couldn't be more wrong.......I'm insanely jealous.

When I told my wife that I hope he gets a job, I meant that I hope that he gets a job that pays less than my job....I wanted him to improve in his lot in life, but I didn't want that lot to be bigger than mine.
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Homeless people are like midgets. I want midgets to be tall...but not taller than me....Likewise I want homeless folks to be successful, but NOT MORE THAN ME.... By the way, could you imagine a midget that suddenly grows and dominates you ?......


I have a strange feeling that Ted Williams right now is making comments about me, hoping that I someday will get a decent job.



From now on this will be my standard reaction to any homeless person I see.