A few years ago as I was walking through the mall, I bumped into an old friend. It was a woman and she appeared to be pregnant . I said to her ," Hey Susie, congratulations on your pregnancy !!".
She then said to me something that made my blood run cold. She said ," I'm not pregnant, I just gained a few pounds you insensitive.... !!". My look of shock and embarrassment was the same as John McCain's when Sarah Palin uttered her first words :
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From then on whenever I saw a young woman with a distended belly and an uncharacteristically large midsection, I would just assume that she gained weight or ate a basketball for lunch. In either case I kept my thoughts inside. I would be more careful and discerning asking the pregnancy question.
Last month I decided to take another stab at asking a woman whether she's with child. I was smart though and waited till there was a 100% chance that there was a pregnancy.I waited and waited....and waited.. Till ALAS !! ..I found a truly pregnant woman....or at least that's what I thought ........The victim was at a baby shower and H-U-G-E ! All the gifts had her name on them. I busted into the room, walked up to Tracy ( the woman in question ) and said , " So Tracy, surely you must be pregnant ! Well.... are you ?". ...She said ," This is a baby Einstein shower. I just patented a new line of accessories and Amazon.com is throwing a party for me in my honor !!..This is my normal stomach. I gained a few pounds you insensitive...... !".
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After that altercation, I decided to wait even further into an apparent pregnancy to ask the loaded question. I would somehow gain access to the delivery room and ask during labor. Surely I could not go wrong ! Surely that would be the right question to ask the right person ! .....Right ?....Right ...... Take a look at what happened to me earlier today :
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From now on I'll wait till the birth actually happens then ask the question 18 years later.
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